Ill tell you what really got me, though. The only proof that Martin had ever had anything to do with Cindy was us turning up in her house. Us and his kids, anyway, but they would only be proof if you took them for a DNA test and that. Anyway, what I mean is, as far as Cindy was concerned, he might as well have never existed. Theyd all moved on. Cindy had a whole new life now. On the way down, Id been thinking about how Id moved on, but all Id done was gone one train ride and one bus journey without asking Maureen about sexual positions. After Id seen Cindy, that didnt seem like such a long journey. Cindy had got rid of Martin, moved and met someone else. Her past was in the past, but our past, I dont know… Our past was still all over the place. We could see it every day when we woke up. It was like Cindy lived in a modern place like Tokyo and we lived in an old place like Rome or somewhere. Except it couldnt be exactly like that, because Rome is probably a cool place to live, what with the clothes and the ice cream and the lush boys and that - just as cool as Tokyo. And where we lived wasnt cool. So maybe it was more like, she lived in a modern penthouse, and we lived in some old shithole that should have been pulled down years ago. We lived in a place where there were holes in the walls, and anyone could stick their head through them if they wanted to, and make faces at us. And Maureen and I had been trying to persuade Cindy to move out of her cool penthouse and move into our dump with us. It wasnt much of an offer, I could see that now.

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